Happy new year 2013!

To all of you a happy new year 2013!
Some switched already into the new year, for some a few hours are still left.
Here in Germany we have still six hours to go.

May all your dreams come true and never lose the faith!

Busy?!?

Busy?!?

How busy can a person be - not being able to write although writing is one of my favorites during leisure time.
I have to educate myself once again. Being busy is something we often pretend to be although in most cases it is kind of not structuring our life and not taking enough time for the things we love.
It's almost 2013 and I normally should have had enough time during the last days to just sit down and do things I want to do. Instead of doing it I snuggled up in front of the TV and watched all the Christmas fairy tales - maybe that was what I needed but my book was almost looking at me annoyed and my mind told me that it's wasted time as I didn't do anything creative or productive.
TV is really something which is bringing me away from stuff I could do better during that time. Nevertheless - I found the way back to write at least today. This is what I mean with educating myself, I should make a habit like taking one hour per day I concentrate on books and writing, as it should become daily routine after a while if I stick to it. On the other hand there's a small problem, do I really want it to be routine? No, and I say no because for me routine and creativity or relaxing time has nothing in common. Maybe it's just my impression but if I hear the word routine I'm thinking about things we have to do, things I do without thinking too much, cleaning is routine, washing is or asking the trash out, but nothing like writing thoughts down. My thoughts change as does my enthusiasm to write about something. There are times when I love todo it but there are also times when I cannot calm down as I know that some things need to be finalized before I have the quiet surrounding to let my thought flow.
Bottom line - I was too busy.
Shortly after my fiancé left Germany for work I was buried with work to finish before driving to my parents for the Christmas celebrations.
Here I am now, sitting in my old children's room, and finally writing again.
There happened so much during the past months that I started several posts already but it's too confusing to bring one to an end right now. I can't wait to get them finalized and posted and this is another point. Am I busy now with writing although I have no idea if people like what I'm writing or not - I will not start to stress myself more than needed. In the end I'm believing that everyone who's thinking a bit in the same way I do understands how it is and also understands that my blog is a real life persons blog. Life never goes as you plan it and it is ok - otherwise it would be boring, wouldn't it?
Some drafts are already written and I hope to find the right time and place during the next days and weeks to tell my story, to write about how it is now, being engaged although miles apart, being entirely happy although missing is hard, all the stories I want to write and give them a second thought, remember these times as they were so precious and moving forward into an exciting future.
You see, I need to sort my thought because otherwise no one would understand what I'm writing about, my mind is full of so many impressions.

Keep the faith and already a happy 2013!

Updates!

Upates!

I haven't been in here for quite a while as my fiancé was in Germany and we tried to catch every second to be together. The are so many 'updates' to write about and I have to sort it out during the next days. Time is running as always, he was just her and is now already back in Libya at work. Also the year is ending soon and this means lots to do until I can relax over the Xmas days.
There are only less than two weeks left until I go to my parents for the Xmas celebrations and visit my best friend for New Year's Eve. Unbelievable how quick one year is over when you are happy.
Wen starting to write this I realize that I missed it but as the electrician will be ringing my bell really early tomorrow morning even now I have to hurry and catch some sleep.
Stay tuned as there will be lots of news I want to write about, how is it to introduce a fiancé to parents, how is it to meet his family, how to marry in a mosque, will a marriage in Germany be as possible as we thought, and we already thought that its not that easy, and so on.
Bye for now & keep the faith!

Visiting the family

Visiting the family

We are still visiting family parts. Shortly after my fiancé finally arrived we started our introducing trip. First was my family and they welcomed him so warmly - I'm the happiest person on earth at the moment. Today we will visit one of my best friends and tomorrow I will meet a part of his family. Everyone is curious to meet the new parts of the family.
What an exciting time.
Lots of fun, laughter and new faces which become quickly so familiar.

Nothing more to say....

Love that pic!!!

Shopping in Madrid 2012

Shopping in Madrid 2012

Oh my god, I promised to tell you about shopping in Madrid and then I almost forgot about it. The main reason why I didn't wrote it shortly after my stay there was on the one hand that my mind was filled up with training topics and on the other hand I had to calm down as I was so angry on a person who crashed this shopping trip. I like to go shopping, some may even say I'm addicted to it. Mostly exciting for me are cities I visit for the first time as I can explore them step by step. My favorite parts are the small streets with small local shops. The main shopping areas always have the same shops we have almost everywhere around Europe and these are less interesting for me. If I buy something new I like it that not everyone has the same piece in his wardrobe. When I knew that I will be in Madrid for a few days I loved the idea of exploring the city but I was aware upfront that I will not go alone, we were three colleagues from Germany and its like an unwritten rule that you go together and not completely alone. That's not the problem at all, as normally as an adult I would assume that even if I like one shop and the others don't that they just move on and we meet up a few shops later again. Not in this case. One of the two others, and that was the one who told me upfront that shopping was the main aim, was crashing it completely. Zara and Mango, two shops we have here in Germany too, were the place to go for her. Accepted as I know they are cheaper in Spain because they are Spanish and they often have different collections, but that the first questions afterwards was where to sit down for a coffee was already making me slightly angry. We just went into the city and to sit down after two general shops for rest and coffee was ridiculous for me. Not only because I wanted to see other shops, no, also because I wanted to see Madrid, explore the city instead of staying in a cafe. She was persuaded quickly by me and the other colleague that we like to move on a bit. What happened then was even more ridiculous. She was standing near to the exit in each shop she didn't liked and there were many she seemed to disapprove, it was like having a guard standing there, pointing to clock, yawning in between, a face like being exhausted and the urgent need to sit down and rest. You an imagine how much fun it was for us to stroll through a shop knowing that she's waiting. It's like putting pressure on someone without saying it, completely mean. But if you think we just stopped for a coffee and the world was ok afterwards, haha, not at all. After a coffee it was the same scenery as before, the one who wanted to buy her whole winter wardrobe in Madrid was standing in waiting position in front of each and every shop, one bag in her hand with a tiny, cheap, Mango pullover. I started to ignore it as my day was still kind of fine and I discovered a few more shops to enter as she was suddenly asking if we may go now and have dinner. Dinner at seven pm where the shops are open until nine? I would go for dinner at nine and enjoy the shopping upfront and besides that is seven time for having dinner? Maybe for a child but surely not for me while being in Madrid with shops open. But she was so hungry and her time for dinner is always seven and she made a face like fainting in five minutes if she's not getting her dinner in time so that we finally said ok and swallowed the bitter pill. We never ate dinner as speedy as this to get out of the restaurant before the shops were closing. Forty five minutes later she was happy again as we were on our way back to the hotel and we, the other two, were sure of one thing: never ever go shopping this person!
As bottom line, Madrid is a wonderful city with lots of shops, there's the main street, the gran via, and many of small streets with tiny and cute shops. Almost everything in fashion is a bit cheaper than in Germany and I'm really sad that it didn't turned out as it was planned. I hopefully may go there once again, but this time not on business, just private to really enjoy the city.
My fiancé is already aware that next time he's needed to carry my shopping bags ;-)

How I Went From Shy to Less Shy

How I Went From Shy to Less Shy

I was pushed to it mainly when I started my job. Before, I wouldn't say I was too shy but unsure, uncertain in many things. Still like being the teenager and not an adult so how to argue with them about something which they should know better just because they live longer. Also when meeting new people, it's not that I was totally quiet but I was holding back with my opinion in first place and even more with private stories. You never know if they may talk you over or try to use it against you. The lack of self esteem is something normal at an younger age I believe, at least it was it for me, but when I had to take ownership for my work I was quickly getting more and more confident. Not only in business where you develop a kind of knowledge about your business but also for me as private person. Part of my job was and still is to work with people around the world and its not a fixed team for the next ten years, no, it's changing, sometimes very quickly. New team members, new staff hired, new clients, things and people are moving and to adapt to this world you need to develop a style of getting along with all these changes and cultural differences. I can never expect that one client is working as the other and for my internal staff I realize that the e.g. hungarian team member is not working exactly in the same way as the israelian even if it is exactly the same job. To be honest, I like it, it's sometimes driving me crazy but most of the time I'm happy to be in the position to meet so many different persons. I learned a lot for my life even if some tasks like holding a speech in front of several persons was scaring me in the beginning. Learning while doing is the best as you have to go through it and I can say that it was always a lesson learned for me and I was proud when it went good. So no reason to be scared, you will be proud afterwards when it went fine and if not you will have learned what to change for the next time. Another important part for me was to get used to write and talk English as this is the main language in my business. When I started I had my school English plus a few books I read, nowadays I'm talking as if I never did anything else, this may not be perfect and there may be mistakes but I'm neither an English teacher nor a native speaker, as long as the main part is ok and people are able to understand what I'm saying or writing I'm fine. Ad why do I title this post "...from shy to less shy" - am I only less shy? You could assume I'm not shy at all now but the truth is, I'm still a bit shy and it's good that way. But it's something I know, I'm pretty good in hiding it so that most of the people are not realizing that part. It's not visible, it's like my inner shield telling me to be cautious or careful. I'm not the one talking about every single moment of my life as long as I don't know the person in front of me. Sometimes not even when I knew them better for good reasons, as we all know not all people are nice just because they act in a nice way and I never was the person who wants to be topic during lunch for others. The less I talk about me, the less they have to talk about me. Only a well picked small circle of friends knows how I am really and they don't even know everything - that's enough. I learned to never arm people with information to use it against me one day. But what counts the most as always is to stay yourself and to be authentic.
Keep the faith and take care!

My favorite...body oil

My favorite...body oil

When I went to Parrot Cay back in 2008 we stayed at the Como Shambhala Resort on this island and that was the first time I got into contact with their own beauty series.
Besides the fact that I like almost all products my absolutely favorite is the "Como Shambhala Invigorate Body Oil".
The scent is seducing, it's a mixture of several essential oils, biological ingredients and it is smelling like a spa version of mainly lavender, sweet almond, peppermint and eucalyptus.
When the bottle was empty I was searching on how to buy it being back in Germany. As a shipment from the Turks and Caicos islands wasn't my first thought. It's not too cheap and I didn't want to pay a fortune on it. Google helped and I haven't expected that there is really a shop in Munich selling it. Lucky me! I don't use it daily, it is something special and thats how I treat it. A 100ml bottle is lasting several months, sometimes I just pour a few drops into my body lotion which is neutral, this is a nice way to save it for a longer period.
But for all who want to try it also, my best tip is the following webpage: http://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/
This page is addictive as you find products there which are not available everywhere and this is something I like.
They don't sell the body but the massage oil which is even better (ingredients are exactly the same). I just rub a bit onto my skin and the scent is surrounding you within seconds. For me always a short time-out and also nice to calm down before I sleep. I love this scent!

Comments

Since I started I see that people are reading my posts but I can't get a feeling on if you like what you read or not. Please feel free to comment, I'm happy to get feedback in any way. If negative I may improve as the reader is focusing differently on posts than the writer. So comments are really welcome ☺

The right place, the wrong time…

The right place, the wrong time…

Does this really exist? I strongly believe that we are always where we should be and things happen if they should happen so this sentence makes no sense for me. What I experienced so far is that everything what happened had a deeper sense. Even if we don't catch it directly in the second, afterwards I found out what things were good for. If you have faith in life and believe that there is something/someone guiding us, where should be the right place during the wrong time? We wouldn't be there if its wrong. From my point of view we are at places exactly at that time we have to be there - OK, I'm not talking about being late for scheduled dates because of ridiculous reasons like not have a dry nail polish in time - it's about life in total and we are led to the places where we have to be. Even if it seems as if everything is going wrong or into the wrong direction it will teach us lessons. As soon as this is understood many thing are more clear, maybe not easy to handle, but we have an idea on how to handle them, change them, revert our habits and so on. I love to learn and to gain new views on everything life is about and when I started to be more cautious, more curious, more keen to know it gave me a different kind of thinking. We should embrace and cherish what we have instead of reaching for the stars as often the stars are already present but we are just too blind to realize. Life is learning until the end and that's what is making it so special.
Be faithful and trust in life, I believe that's the key.

Crap TV

Crap TV

I don't know if its just a German phenomenon but during the past years the tv programm was becoming more and more crap and trash.
Where are all the good movies? Where are the interesting talks and discussions?
When I just start zapping through channels in the evening I hardly find anything interesting to watch. Instead of movies it's common to have tv shows, singing contests, problematic couples, youngsters, pets, news about catastrophes around the world and celebrity stuff.
I'm wondering which persons are keen to see all this as it seems to be the majority. TV channels are adapting their program to what people want to see. That's scary if you think about it. Which insane mind wants all this crap each day? Interesting topics are on late in the evening or even in the middle of the night. But the main question is what is happening to our society if that's the new "normal"? Are we losing our minds from generation to generation? I'm not that old to say sentences like "when I was young it was..." but I already found myself several times saying it. And if you look at people outside you already realize there was a change, which in first place isn't bad at all, changes are needed cause otherwise it would mean we stopped living, the problem is that these changes are not good ones. It's not only crap on TV, it's also just in front of your door when you step outside.
I'm living next to a school with children from twelve to sixteen years, when they have lunch breaks and you see them walking, talking, acting its like another planet. When I imagine myself at this age I was still almost a child, nowadays girls with thirteen look like eighteen or even more, dressed up in mini-mini-skirts, a make up like a parrot, smelling as if they just walked out of a perfume store, wearing the highest high-heels available. Is that the new normal? Every girl is the next top model of the world at this age because that's what they are taught on TV or the web. Boys are like gangsters, they have to be so cool and stylish, where stylish means the clothing out of the newest rap videos, and what they don't are allowed too is to show emotions, that would be the worst thing. They can have each girl as their new girl friend if they want, at least that's what they think.
The problem is from my point of view honestly the lack of possibilities. Parents have no ideas than to place them from sometimes the age of two onwards in front of the TV. And TV to learn what life is about cannot work at all. If I remember my childhood the TV was there but it was not the main part of my childhood. We went outside whenever it was possible, played in the garden, the small forest nearby or just strolled through the village. Collecting beetles in summer, eating corn directly in the field, all the stuff where I would say that's what children should do. Instead the society is keeping them inside, in summer is too hot, in winter too cold, the surrounding isn't safe enough and the TV or play station is not disturbing the adults in their daily routine. If that's really the new normal I will be an awful future mom, I'm sure that my child will not be allowed to watch stupid stuff the whole day. I want it to know how grass smells or a beetle looks like, I want it to activate its fantasy to play instead of reading instructions of the new computer game. And TV will be a hard battle, fortunately all nice movies for children are available as DVDs but for the crap on TV there will be no way, at last as long as I'm in charge of it.
Go outside, read books, choose carefully what to watch on TV, communicate, love, surround yourself with thinking mind, this may beware us of getting "crap" people...

Waiting for the day...

Waiting for the day...

It's near now, the day my fiancé will finally be with me again, and what am I doing?
Starting to clean my flat but not in a normal way, no, from the deepest places up to what is visible.
Why am I doing it? Simple explanation, I just want to focus on what's important during his stay and not thinking about stupid cleaning or sorting out or whatever during this precious time. And besides I do this normally every two or three years but nowadays it's something special. One wardrobe is almost empty for him to store his clothes. Nothing would be more stupid than living out of a suitcase for one month and I want him to have the feeling to be at home and not feeling like a guest. The same for my bathroom which is normally crowded with my bottles and creams and make up, now it's pure and clean and free space for men's stuff (which isn't that much compared to women's). The living room is as cosy as it could be because it will be wintertime and it's already getting colder each day. A place to snuggle up in warm light and relax, that's how I like it and how it always has been but now it becomes a special meaning. We will spend our time here together once again and I can't wait for the days to pass by until its reality. These weeks will be exciting as we will meet parts of the family, mine and his, so the plan is to drive there at the beginning of his stay so that we end up with lots of time afterwards just for the two of us.
It's interesting to start something new with the unique feeling of having found the missing piece in life. Sure as adults there have been relationships in the past but if you then found someone where it feels so right just from the very first beginning it's something special. It's hard to explain but I already thought I found it and was proven wrong afterwards and now it's so different. Different in the best meaning as I cannot see one single piece which could separate us. This is something I never had before, the feeling of being completely complete with this man on my side even when it seems for outsiders not that easy - living thousand of miles apart, out of different cultures, that cannot be easy. I can assure you it is! If you love each other as basis and then discover the same humor, the same sense of what life should be like for the two of you, the same opinions about values, family, even the same taste in many things, then you are able to make it. Even if I'm completely stressed and tired after a long working day i just need to hear his voice shortly and calm down because I know that this is more important than anything else. Relationships are precious and not only the one to your wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner or fiancé. Life is built on relationships with every kind of human being as these are the people around you who should be there for you whatever life is going to give you. People who bring you down, make you sad, are envying you or putting stones on your way are the wrong ones, this is also something to sort out. I did it a few months ago and that was the right decision. Surround yourself with honest persons! It's early for me to write all these sentences but I am absolutely doubtless. Which doesn't mean that we won't face difficulties but I'm sure we will go towards each other when facing them to find the middle way instead of running apart. No one said life is easy so why should we give up on something we finally found so easily? It will be an absolutely exciting time, my family can't wait almost like me to meet the new family member and my mom is already caring as if her own son is coming home, asking me every now and then what to cook for the first evening and buying warm bedclothes so that he is not freezing in winter time. And his family will be another adventure for me. He has an uncle in Belgium who moved there a long time ago, also married to a European, and I like to listen to their stories on how they did it. They still seem to be happy together and this is what we want for our future. So you see, there are many things more important than cleaning up and when the most is done before he arrives I just can focus on the main parts in life. Another effect is that I start to sit on my couch more relaxed when I know that I have nothing else to do instead of enjoying quality time. It's freeing my mind and soul and is giving me a certain kind of serenity.
Not faithless - no, full of faith!
Take care!

Weird advertising

Weird advertising

A perfume is called an "essence" for woman - what do I do without it? My life has to be senseless as I'm lacking the "essence". Best to hide myself from society from today onwards as I will never be able to fit into all these ideal 'what a women should be like' pictures.
Make up for a "bare skin effect", make up for "naked skin effect"? Why to wear it then at all? Am I the only one not getting the sense here? I thought make up should underline, cover, make the skin even, but naked?
If I finally buy the "essence" perfume what about the one which gives me "the scent of eternal beauty" - can I use them both at the same time or do I have to choose between "essence" and "eternal beauty"? As long as I have the cream on my face which is bringing the "illuminating magic light" onto my skin I will choose the "essence". And good to know that I can completely ruin my hair with too much heat as I just have to use the shampoo "to erase the damage of 100 blow-drys within 7 days" afterwards. As addition I can use the hair cream which makes my hair ten times healthier. Next advertisement and I have another problem. A new scent which should make me able to "choose your own path to happiness". I want this too but am not sure if it can be combined with "essence" and "eternal beauty".
Enhance your flawless face...may I use it under or above the "naked skin effect"?
The "24 hour eyeshadow" is a nice idea but not sure if I have to take it off before I add the "over night repair" cream to my skin which can do miracles while I'm sleeping. And is it still OK to use the patches to keep wrinkles in check and prevent furrows while sleeping?
I think I found the solution for my face. I just buy the cream "within ten days a 25% reduction of wrinkles" - means forty days and I look like in my twenties and no need for any further make up or cream, right?
My face is OK now and i don't care too much about my hair as the solution is the wonder shampoo but the next problem is just around the corner - my body. Is it appropriate to use the "anti-aging" body lotion with thirty-four or should I go with the one for "dry skin"? And which for "dry-skin"? The slightly tanning lotion with sparkling effect or better with silk proteins? I would love the one with this blend of rosemary but this may not go together with the perfume. You think these decisions are not easy? Ha, in comparison of what is adequate to wear it is, believe me. Clothes are more difficult to choose. The skirt which is too mini should not be on a women above twenty-five but the longer version looks like my grandma's. And why looks it so nice on a cover but when I have the same combination my mirror says "NOOOO"? Do I have to choose upfront if I'm the boho, pure, leather, business, mexican, clean, color or nude type or is it ok to be kin of schizophrenic in regards to fashion? Oh gosh, is there a therapist specialized on "who am I and how should I look like"?!? I'm lost in this world. Can I still drive a BMW wearing flat boots or is it only possible with the red sole high heels? And what about my flat, is it stylish enough to go out to the new opened "low carb, healthy vegetable" restaurant or do I have to move upfront into a loft?
Are these the important questions in life? If you believe what you see, then yes.
Fortunately I'm not believing all this and just do what I like, wear what I like, eat what I like and live in a way which makes me happy. Nothing is perfect or flawless or illuminated and you know what - that's exactly what I want! Maybe I'm the individual, unique type.
Find yourself regardless of what the majority think as you don't live for them, your life is just for you!
Keep the faith!

Madrid 2012

Madrid 2012

I told you I will for sure write something when being back. At the moment I'm sitting in the plane from Madrid back to Munich and yes, I like the idea of being back in my cosy home and in my own bed at night, but if it comes to the weather I'm scared to step out of the plane after arrival in Munich. When I left on Sunday it were thirteen °C and Madrid welcomed us with twenty-six °C. The mean thing is that this was for sure my last trip into the sun for this year. From today onwards the temperature will decrease into the darkest winter season and no plans before february/march next year to escape this winter. We didn't had too much time left for just sitting it the sun and purely enjoying it but even if it was work we got a glimpse of a small vacation feeling. And Madrid is a relaxed city, people there have the typical Southern European style. Life everywhere you go, the streets in the city centre are crowded during the evening as if life I just about to start in the evening hours. Something I like so much as people seem to be much more relaxed than for example busy Germans. Having dinner at seven and not later because early sleep is needed to be back in the office the next morning at eight. Spanish people also work, at least the people I met from our company, and the workload isn't less than mine, so how do they do it? I believe that the "key" is to set priorities, to not being perfect for eight hours a day and be relaxed. I'm not saying we all have to be relaxed our whole life now, we all face challenges, hurdles, timelines from time to time but nobody can make me believe that he or she has each day the most important job on this earth and it would fall into pieces as soon as the behavior is changed. We are not ruling the world, we may have important jobs whereas the word important is interpreted in many different meanings, but we are exchangeable, most of us. This trip was in first place for an on-the-job training but it taught me also life lessons. Even our trainers who see many different countries and offices within a short period of time are hunting through the day to finish classes earlier than planned and we didn't miss important parts. I think even the opposite, we covered all topics within a shorter time frame as we focused on what's important and stopped discussions with no effect. Another lesson, we need to focus, prioritize instead of running in circles of stupid things. Put aside rubbish and more precious time is left for what really matters! I tried it already over the last months which I just realize now while writing. Step aside and have look onto your own life. We are starting sometimes in the correct way without planning to do so but then stopped all of a sudden because we didn't realize where we already have been. Starting again the search for new ways to feel mor comfortable. What's right in front of us is often invisible. Gosh, did I learn all this in these few days Madrid? And where's the interesting part about he shopping? Sorry, guys, but my head is full of all these training methods which never apply only to your job. If it's a good trainer you will transfer it to general situations in your life because just then you realize that all these methods aren't just theory, no, they really work! We had a part about managing "others" and managing risks. If you just put it into relation with your current job role you are limiting you view on it and it's likely to get stucked at a point. But just take these words - manage, risk - and now put them into relation with you privat life, your family. Don't we all manage something on a daily basis and aren't there risks included in almost everything? Just the shopping in the supermarket is something to manage and there are unforeseen risks or risks which cause some effects afterwards. Be prepared (write a detailed list of what to buy), think about risks (I can't bake a cherry cake when cherries are out), maybe you have a back up plan (take apples instead of cherries and bake an apple pie), or there's the risk that you forgot to add something important to your list and realize back home that milk is missing. What does it mean? Unaccounted additional efforts needed (second drive back to the supermarket, additional time needed). This is really working on my mind and even if I started to write about the city, the beauty of it and the shopping areas I'm not able to do it right now. Just finish one thing at a time, also something not to underestimate. I promise I write another day about Madrid and what I discovered during my short stay there :-).
Take care and don't take life more serious than it it is!

My favorite books - Eat, Pray, Love

My favorite books - Eat, Pray, Love

Maybe interesting to share some of my favorite books once in a while. Altogether are impossible as I have many.
How to start, I start with the ones just coming to my mind when thinking about books.
The first is Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat Pray Love"
That's on the top of my list and a companion already!
I read it several times already and I also watched the movie afterwards now more than once.
Not sure if it was hitting me because I was in a same situation when I started to read it first and that's completely the reason why I like it so much or if it's really that good. What made me wondering is that I like both, book and movie, as mostly the movie never can reach the book.
It's in this case also not matching up completely as you cannot exactly translate all sense of writing into pictures but both of them has a unique kind of showing people what it is about. When reading it for the first time I was flashed of all the hidden messages in it but when reading it for second and the third time I was taking even more out of it. There are always passages which I didn't focus deep enough on during the first reading which got me the second or third time. I would say it's more detailed in description about how she feels and thinks and how hard she is trying to find her path in life but also the movie has many of this hidden sense in it too. Here again I realize each time I watch it again something "new" and this is awesome. I was never a big fan of any actress or actor but for this movie I have to say Chapeau to Julia Roberts. She fits perfectly as she's able to act like it was meant in the book and still it seems to be easy. It's kind of art to act like this and it's really appreciated, she's not changing the story to adapt it to her, she's adapting herself to fit into the story. And what's most important is that my impression of the book didn't suffer after I watched the movie, no, it was supporting it and giving a bit additional sense.
I read some recencions a few weeks ago and I have to say, call me vainly if you like, but people thinking that both, book and movie, are boring, lame, long-winded, atrabilious, they just didn't got the deeper sense behind it.
That's not a comedy story or a movie full of special effects and action, it's about the search in life we are all facing once in a while, sometimes more and sometimes less, some focusing on it more as some others and this story is for me like a guide. A guide in many senses, it's not that I start now to travel for one year to find myself, but to be aware, even if we all knew it, that I'm not the only one asking myself all those questions what life is about and how to cope with it, this is giving a little hold. How my way onwards is looking like will be totally different from the book but the main questions it raised are almost generally fitting to many of us. So, and you can call me again vainly, if not even one part of the story is hitting you, you are ignoring yourself in this game called life and others are ruling you. Which seems to be easy and common for many people on this earth, but I think that just taking the easy way is kind of running away from yourself. To focus on your own life with all needs, scars, emotions, dreams, wounds and love is the hardest way, I know what I'm talking about, but we all are talking so much about being free, taking over responsibilities for our own life, being self-determined, so why not start with yourself? If you are not starting with your own life, even if it is painful at times, you will never reach the stage where you are free. It's like the old saying "only if you are able to love yourself you will reach the ability to love others" - that's more than true, maybe even the key in life.
Start trusting in yourself and building up the faith you need to face all situations is life. It's a long way and I don't know anyone who reached the goal already or if there is a goal at all but it's sure that this is enriching!
Good luck!

The perfect getaway in the Caribbean sea

The perfect getaway in the Caribbean sea

Believe it or not, I won!
I couldn't believe it myself when I received the official announcement letter back in 2008 but it was true.
I entered a code found in a perfume package just on the web page of the producer and hit the jackpot.
Twelve days and nights for two in a five star resort on a private secluded island south east from the Bahamas.
And as if that wasn't enough, it was all, and I mean all, included. Flights from Germany over Miami to the capital Providenciales of the Turks and Caicos Islands. Transfer by boat to the island Parrot Cay which is really private and secluded plus a big amount of pocket money for lunch, dinner, massages and other amenities.
When I called my best friend to ask her if she would like to join me she first thought I was kidding but then quickly said of course we go.
Women planning a trip - what to say? A man would just pack his swim trousers, one or two pair of denims, some shirts and ready to go...
But we started lists which grew longer on a daily basis. Clothes for the beach, for breakfast, for dinner, for walks around the island, for relaxing time just sitting on the balcony, for the night, for the trip itself, sun protection, body lotion, book, sunglasses, several pairs of shoes, camera, arranging documents, are our last vaccinations still active, do we need thrombosis prophylactic stockings for the more than ten hour flight...I can go on for ages like this, women will understand, haha. We ended up with really heavy luggage just at the edge to pay overweight and our hand luggage was what some need for a three day trip.
Here we go, two normal girls on their way to an island where we found out Bruce Willis has a villa as well as Donna Karan.
After the first ten hour flight to Miami we were desperate for a coffee and for gods sake the first we saw after getting out of the gate in Miami was Starbucks right in front of us.
Our flight to Providenciales was delayed so how do women spend time while waiting? Correct, do some shopping, the first piece were sunglasses and the second a zebra scarf. We quickly realized on the island itself that there was only one shop at the reception and not a shop which was affordable for us. Unusual but this trip wasn't filling up our suitcases.
Landed in Providenciales we were picked up by hotel staff for the boat transfer to the island itself. At arrival it was already dark so the whole beauty of the secluded island wasn't visible for us that night. It hits us the next morning when we stepped out on the balcony and were welcomed with sunshine, orchidees and birds chirping. Relaxation! Silence! Beauty! Food! The terrace for breakfast was directly in front of our room and turned out to be the perfect start for a day - they offered everything you can imagine. There was not one single piece you can think of which wasn't served. It just took a few days for the servants to realize that we will need a second table to put the amounts we were ordering each day right in front of us. Pancakes with syrup, waffles with slices of mango, fresh orange juice, scrambled eggs with bacon, sunny-side-up eggs, coffee, cereals, fruits, ... Before arrival we were thinking about leaving the island for a day trip once or twice during our stay, but when being there we got into a full relax mode, which you could call also lazy mode. If there's no lack of anything an you feel completely pampered there's no reason to change it. This mode was starting off with the breakfast followed by beach with book & fruit cocktail, during lunch time we went to the bibliotheca where cookies or cake and tea were offered and where it was cooled down. The bibliotheca was also the only place with access to the web. Afterwards we either went back to the beach / pool area or enjoyed the balcony of our room. And dinner was each night a ceremony of starter, main course and dessert, no way to leave one course as they all were so delicious. Instead of leaving the island we booked massages and went to the area with steam rooms and sauna, which is awesome even in the carribean sea as you have orchidees around you and stunning sea views. All shower and body care products offered there underlined the feeling of total relaxation. I never thought twelve days on an island without places to shop or heritages to look at will keep me to stay there more than fourty-eight hours in a row but honestly, enough food, the sea, the weather and lots of silence were more than sufficient for us. We didn't even had a slight thought about leaving for shopping or crowded places.
What's the main conclusion after this trip?
If you win it, definitely accept and go! If you have to book it yourself you may choose another location which is not that expensive because it was expensive, almost not affordable for 'normal' people. If you want an idea, the trip for us with a stop over flight from Europe, twelve nights breakfast included was about twelve thousand Euro. A three course dinner was around one hundred dollar for two persons. We never had lunch and didn't missed it as it was warm during this time and after the extended breakfast also not hungry.
They offer a lot of massages and treatments which are had to resist, at least once is a must during a staying.
Not much of us are falling into the category 'I don't care about money because I have enough', if yes, book and relax.
If not, honestly, there are lots of offers even around the Turks and Caicos islands which are affordable. It won't be the secluded exclusive island with security boats during night. This is a 'nice to have' but not really something desperately needed for relaxing holidays. I have seen the beaches and the surrounding out there and it's awesome. White beach and turquoise water raise instantly a vacation mood, at least for me. I think I is kind of similar to the Maldives but I cannot assure it as I haven't been there yet. I would imagine it to be similar. Nevertheless - we loved our stay and if I'm ever in the situation of having too much money I may consider to go to a second time but with my fiancé. It's a romantic place where many spend their honeymoon or even get married.
In holiday mood? Enjoy a few pictures of the island.

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights

I was always a good sleeper if you say it like this, means I never had problems to sleep, just a few minutes finding the right cosy position and I went to the land of dreams. Last year it started that I was facing bad sleepless nights. Nights which were totally exhausting instead of relaxing. For sure there are reasons in life why situations like this start over and it's not popping up out of nowhere. My reasons were private stuff combined with a big workload. No need to go into details, as it had something to do with being heartbroken etc. but this whole thing manifested a kind of feeling uncomfortable in the dark. Which is ridiculous because I always liked the nights, that's when I start to become creative, where my mind is fully awake. What I try is not to start fearing it, if I tell myself it may happen again tonight it will, but if I try to affirm to myself that these occasions happen only from time to time, I'm feeling better and the nights will be fine. After I found the meditation apps I'm feeling a bit safer too as they are like a rescue, almost all of them start with breathing exercises and they calm you down very quickly. But what's also important is not to ignore these nights, I think it's better to accept them and to work on a solution to get rid of them step by step.
I'm happy at this moment, happy since I met my future husband, he's like a shelter for me, my recharger. Whenever I talk to him I'm fine, even if I was totally tired before, as he brought the feeling back to my life that I'm not alone, that I'm loved and cared for and that everything will be fine. And honestly I knew always that my family is there for me too but its not the same, this feeling of being sheltered by parents or by a partner is different.
Nevertheless still from time to time I have these stupid insomniac nights, and here I have to realize that a wounded soul cannot recover within a few months, it needs time. The reason of these wounds is no longer present in my life, all these hurting thoughts are gone for months now, but regaining the full strength is the part which needs time. That's why I say to myself its better to accept it rather than ignoring it. As long as I'm actively thinking on how to be totally fine again I see that it's fading. But if I would start to ignore it I'm pretty sure it would knock me down one day as nothing in life should be ignored. It sounds a bit pathetic but during these nights I have the feeling as if my soul is telling me: "Hey, I'm on my way but I'm not yet fully back on track, so please do me a favor and take care of yourself." And that's exactly what I have to do. I'm a perfectionist and I do often too much instead of letting things go and take time-outs for myself. its always the same pattern as these nights are hitting me after a row of exhausting days where I tried to get all done which needs to be done plus even more. Days where I worked too much and am still hurrying through my life after work instead of sleeping early to take some rest.
I have no final solution but I'm assured that it will fade more and more as long as I take care. Never underestimate your mind and your soul, they are essential in life and we have to care!
Keep the faith!

A wedding in Greece 2009

A wedding in Greece 2009

You are getting more memories about the travels in my life. One amazing and completely unexpected was attending a wedding in Greece. I didn't knew either bride or groom. My best friend from childhood days called me a few weeks prior to the wedding date and asked me to accompany him. He was invited by them to their wedding in her home town and didn't want to go alone. A nice surprise as it was more than a welcome for me. I hadn't planned any holidays and to go to Greece for five days was a good plan. Two other friends of him travelled there also and we decided upfront not to stay for the two days but to stay one week and hire a car. Mid September promised to have nice weather and it turned out to be true.
We four met at Thessaloniki airport and from first sight it was clear that we like each other and will make the best out of this short stay.
The couple was awaiting us at the hotel reception to give us the time schedule for the wedding days and they were so lovely. Since a long time a couple I met which was truly meant to be together. For the first night we just picked a small local restaurant and ordered a mix of different local dishes - try it if you ever go to Greece - it was delicious and not our last visit to a local restaurant. For the next evening the eve-of-the-wedding-party was planned where I'm not entirely sure if it was German or Greek or both's traditions. It was a mix of cultures with the typical throwing crockery but also live music to dance the sirtaki, greek barbecue and German music, people talking without knowing the same language, an amazing evening or night to remember. But it was only the start. The big wedding was on the next day and fortunately not starting in the morning as we all were a bit sleepy. After a long and big breakfast the women were getting their hair done by an extra ordered stylist whereas most of the men went for a nap on the beach.
When all were ready we drove to a small Greek-orthodox church in the middle of a tiny village. It was so small that not even all guests were able to stay inside during the ceremony but that was handled easily. Doors just left open and from outside you still heard partly how the ceremony was conducted. But before we all including the stylish groom were waiting for the bride to arrive. The stylish groom? He was wearing a shiny light blue suit with a solver belt and silver shoes. Sounds weird but it was first suiting him and second to know he bet with the bride to surprise her with an unnormal outfit and she wasn't believing him. So the moment they met in front of the church was lots of laughter and also lots of love flowing between them. The ceremony itself was held in Greek but was nice to watch. After that lots of rice was "raining" on the newlyweds which is still allowed there. I learned that its forbidden in Germany because the doves are eating too much of it and then kind of explode afterwards. And then the party started. You an say about Greek people what you like but one thing they absolutely can is celebrating. Even the oldest stayed until late at night and danced the Sirtaki. I can't remember when I danced the last time a whole night long but this night was great. And after all the different courses of the menu also a good thing, some may take Ouzo as digestives, I prefer the Sirtaki. Many ended up after lots of ouzo and dancing to go for a swim in the early still dark morning hours which amused the rest of us. We went to bed around five in the morning which was a clear sign that the wedding was a full success not only for the bride and groom but also for the guests.
The few days we stayed afterwards were great relaxation and a bit of visiting heritage sites in Greece. I still have a reminder in my flat from this wedding as the bride was giving me one of a few olive branch crowns. She explained that her task is to give them to the persons she wants to get a special portion of luck in future and even if we met just a few days before she decided that I'm one of them. I was honored and this crown has now a place in flat, I keep it there as a reminder of this wonderful stay.



Thanks to Anna and Dino!

Struggling to get into a meditation rhythm

Struggling to get into a meditation rhythm

I don't know if you ever tried it but when I first thought about meditation I bought a small book which told on its cover that you learn quickly how to meditate.
I read it and that's it. No inspiration, no guiding, no motivation for me at all.
I put it aside but the thought about needing something to stop my mind running in circles was still present. I took my iPad and downloaded some free apps with meditations to listen to and here I started.
Just using the earplugs and listening to it is the easiest way to start instead of reading lots of instructions. What happened for several times is that I just fell asleep after a while but that was fine for me. The women telling me what to do, how to breath, what to focus on, etc. has such a calm voice and in combination with quiet background music it's really inviting you to have a nap. But again I wasn't doing it regularly as I planned and I'm still not found a rhythm for myself. What's the worst about it is that I see myself in front of stupid stuff on TV telling myself that this is relaxing time although I know I'm totally wrong. To change a manifested behavior is not as easy as I thought in first place. So if anyone has tips and tricks on how to change it please let me know. One thing I realized is that even the few nights were helping me getting rid of TV in my bedroom which is already a good thing. I turned back to what I was used to and am reading again. Maybe I'm expecting too much from myself which also isn't unusual for a perfectionist. And in the end, the big question, what is meditation? Can't it be a state of just doing something else instead of running in circles on your mind? If yes than reading already would be kind of meditation as its easing. During the time I read I focus on the story and not about problems, work, what to do next, what still isn't finalized, and and and...
If I start thinking too much I take the earplugs and its calming me down. This will not be the end of this journey as I honestly want to get rid of stupid behavior like staying up too long without a sense but I think I have to accept and also to appreciate that the first steps are already gone, otherwise I wouldn't be able to write about it. Sometimes you only realize small efforts if you see them written in front of you.
Maybe this blog is also kind of mediation for me as I'm focusing only on one single topic each time and black out the rest going on around and inside me.
I found the following definition and while reading it I was affirming to myself that I'm not too wrong in what I'm doing.
"Meditation is the act of remaining in a silent and calm state for a period of time, as part of a religious training, or so that you are more able to deal with the problems of everyday life."
And another conclusion after I read is - am I doing it to match the definition or to feel better afterwards? Are we running to much after how we should be and how things are defined from the outside instead of focussing on what we like and feel comfortable with? But that's another topic.
Keep the faith in your life and most important, keep it within you!

Mistrust /Distrust

Mistrust /Distrust

I have the feeling that there is more mistrust in this world nowadays than trust.
What's the reason behind?
The question is why became people so suspicious?
When it comes to me, I was and still am trusting from the first second. Many called me naive or too credulous but I don't see any reason for not giving this piece of trust unless someone's proving me the opposite. Ok, I'm not trusting strangers 100%, just not to get myself into danger, but why should I assume from each and everyone that they have bad intentions or are telling lies?
Is this our society, a society of lies and jealousity, fake smiles and pretenders, mistrust and distrust? If you start by accident to get a glimpse into other societies like it happened to me you realize even more that western Europeans are losing the relaxed way of living as well as the US.
I cannot talk about how it is in Asia or South America, or on so many other places on this earth, and for sure it's never the whole society, means not each single person, but for the countries I have regular contact to, for them I can describe at least my view.
That's why mainly Europe and US. I am in regular contact to almost each western European country and the US, and what I see is that everyone is looking at first after him- or herself. The nice question "How are you?" is just another kind of "Hello" because if you would honestly start to answer how you feel, most persons are running faster than ever before. People don't want honest answers. We have to be happy and fine and even we are not, that's nothing you should admit. Our world is full of catastrophes each day and instead of taking what we have we have to better and faster and nicer and more beautiful. Imperfection has no right to exist although there is no one perfect. A least no one I know or have seen during my life so far. It is more and more common that we have to return all things we are getting even in a bigger size to show we are able too.
Instead of thinking what others may like we start to give what we like and expect something similar as 'pass back'. What I learned is to consider what a person likes and then to choose what to give and the price tag is the most unimportant part of it. But if you look around you we are not far away from keeping the price tags on everything just to show them off. The worth of a person is measured on the price. Giving without expecting something in return is almost impossible as is receiving something without feeling the urge to return it in a way. We should start to go back to the state of trust first and of not comparing who has more than me and who has less. Isn't it the inner attitude which counts, the person underneath the surface?
I'm getting more and more comfortable since I show persons the door out of my life who were behaving like this. My friends circle is way smaller now but also way smarter, honest and meaningful because we trust. I don't care if they are leaders in what they do and about the amount of their salaries or what cars they drive. I care about the persons, are they happy, are they sad, hungry or funny, loving or in need of something. That's what I focus on instead of wearing the most stylish new almost not affordable bag.
I think I'm on my way to become an adult person - haha - unfortunately many will never reach this stage.
And what's supporting me? As usual - Faith!

Planning a Business Trip to Madrid

Planning a Business Trip to Madrid

When traveling for business purposes what should be on your mind?
For sure to finish your work while being there.
This time I'm traveling soon to Madrid but even if its business, it's "just" a training.
So what's the difference?
The difference is that it's far more casual than having to provide results to a client afterwards. It's an internal training on the job which is of course also important but in another way. I will be the trainee and not the trainer and just have to sit and listen instead of presenting. That way it's more relaxed. I will travel with two colleagues and also meet colleagues when being there. Almost all are women, so?
Madrid - we are coming!
Eating tapas in the best tapas bar guided by locals, shopping, we already found out that there are two big shopping malls near to our hotel, and the city itself has so much to discover also. It's like a short trip to a city which contains work but instead of sitting in the hotel after training to prepare the next day we have free time to discover the amenities Madrid has. These times remind me always on school trips, you had to went into different museums and churches and listen to the guide or teacher but the fun started afterwards when you had a few hours left for yourself.
And what to say, I'm living in Munich and of course we have more than enough places for shopping, but what I like is to discover stores and little shops which sell stuff not available in Munich or Germany. Small shops from the locals and even big stores which aren't based anywhere in Germany. The best is to have something where you exactly know, no one else has the same, it's kind of unique when being back home. It doesn't mean it has to be expensive, not at all, if its on sale it's even more fun.
But it's not completely about shopping, more about the whole package.
You just stroll through a city which is completely new for you, stopping here and there, stepping into small shops which attract you, sitting in cafés for a break and enjoy the time.
I like it so much to discover cities on my own without guidance and just have the opportunity to stop whenever and wherever I like to. It's a bit like a short holiday even when is work but the location change is setting free energy as you don't want to leave a city without having seen it. And I know what I'm asking about, I did it for so many years. When I started working for the company I was always traveling, mostly within Germany, but during this time I had to deliver results at the end of the day and the days where based on flying somewhere, hurrying to the taxi and driving to the workplace for the day. After work was finished it was either the same way back home or driving into a hotel, writing reports in the evening and ordering dinner to the room. Honestly, I was in almost all big cities we have in Germany and for the most of them I hadn't the time to see more than hotels and airports.
Glad that these times are gone, they were an experience but nowadays I like working in my home office and from time to time I get the possibility to plan trips like this time Madrid with less pressure behind. I'm not the career type at all but I have to admit that sometimes stepping up the ladder into higher positions provides you with opportunities you hadn't before and I worked hard enough to get there. That's why I can say today that I like it.
Let's see what Madrid is like, looking forward to it as I haven't been there before and I will let you know afterwards if I like it or not.
And I have to fulfill a special task and make pictures of the Real Madrid stadion ;-)
Keep the faith!

My weird style of music

My weird style of music

Some at least say it's weird, I love it instead.
I was never the girl who was going along with the mainstream, at least not in music. Fashion is another topic, there were many times I remember today where I wore the so-called fashion faux pas.
My style in music also is a story of development. I started with, and it's almost embarrassing to admit it, "I am looking for freedom" from David Hasselhoff. It was the time when Baywatch was on TV and he was a nice guy hopping into the water. It didn't last long,that's the good about it. And what followed is a youth in a really strange music time. The nineties were from my point of view the worst times - too much Techno and one hit wonders, I never liked it. So what to do, go back to the eighties. Despite of being ten years older nowadays I would have loved it to spend my teenage time in the eighties. This was music and is still. All the freaks from UK, London must have been awesome.
But what do I listen to today is not only eighties, no, it's a variety of artists which have mostly one thing in common. They are unique in their styles, they're not following the mainstream, they really have voices and their songs are songs with a meaning. Whatever the meaning is, and music is often about love and relationships, I see myself in them, that's what is counting for me. They sing about what I went through, am in or was thinking (but not able to put into words on my own), it's a bit of everything. Songs inspire me, give me feedback on unsolved questions, support my anger, happiness, love, make me feel myself, and so much more. A life without music is impossible. The music can raise you up or can be a companion when you are down.
I don't like each and every song from my favorite artists/bands but for me the majority of what they produced is enriching my life.
I list them for you and I add my fav song for each (and they have lots to listen too besides that one) but they are listed without preference as they all deserve a place in my life and maybe some will find a place in your life too. Just check them out. I have listed lots which haven't a "big name" but they don't have to be hidden at all, they are great!

Visage - Fade to grey
Simon and Garfunkel - The Boxer
a-ha - Nothing is keeping you
Gus black - Fall into you
John Mayer - Belief
Colbie Caillat - Circles
Enigma - Why!
Purity Ring - Obedear
James Taylor - Shower the people
Mattafix - Living Darfur
R.E.M. - Losing my Religion
Andru Donalds - Simple Obsession
Ray LaMontagne - Gossip in the Grain
Wilson Phillips - Release me
Marc Anthony - My baby you
George Michael - Careless Whisper
Phil Collins - Always
Rea Garvey - Can't stand the silence
Chromatics - The River
Michael Bolton - A Love so beautiful
Ben Gibbard & Feist - Train Song
Sade - Jezebel
White Apple Tree - Snowflakes
Pink Floyd - Coming back to live
Natasha Bedingfield - I bruise easily
Rod Stewart - Sometimes when we touch
Jaylene Johnson - Closer to you
P¡nk - Who knew
Bryan Adams - When you love someone
HT Heartache - Hearts are toys
Alanis Morissette - Guardian
Katie Melua - Just like Heaven
Hurts - Blood, Tears & Gold
Zucchero - Senza una donna
James Blunt - Heart of Gold

...and still so many more...

Light up your life

> Light up your life
>
> What is lightening up your life? There are many small things which can instantly lighten you up so that you feel happy and at ease for a moment. We have to appreciate more the small things we liked so much. Why shouldn't a cup of hot chocolate be able to put a smile on our face? I don't need the big things like cars, luxury weekend or diamond rings to be happy.
> Make a list of what you like and you quickly realize that's often the smallest thing which are sufficient. Here is the list of my favorites and be sure if I think longer and longer about it I will have a huge list....
> 1. Hot cup of chocolate or tea in combination with a good book or movie
> 2. My room just lightened up with lots of candles
> 3. Laying down on my bed under the wide opened window on a summer evening to listen to the sounds outside and breathing in the air
> 4. The smell of fresh washed bed sheets
> 5. Falling asleep in the arms of my love feeling just safe and sheltered
> 6. Seeing the smile in my neighbors face after she got dinner for free because I'm always cooking more than I'm able to eat.
> 7. Documentations about the most beautiful places on earth
> 8. Waking up in the morning and already smelling freshly brewed coffee
> 9. Walking with bare feet on grass
> 10. A short nap on a Sunday afternoon
> 11. Talking for hours with my friend or sister on the phone
> 12. Planning on how to surprise someone as the smile is already paying back enough
> 13. Listening to the birds chirping at five am and knowing that I will sleep now
> 14. Sometimes I hear a saxophonist in the middle of the night and the music is heard from far away but totally beautiful
> 15. Enjoy the silence after midnight when the city starts to sleep
> 16. Feeling the sun on my skin
> 17. Cookies and a glass of milk
> 18. Reading until I fall asleep
> 19. Sitting in front of the heater and warm up my back on a cold winter day
> 20. Listening to the sound of waves
>
> ...and so many more...

Counting days...

Counting days...

I'm so happy as I finally can start to count days until we have again precious time just for us.
After our holidays on Cyprus we saw us each day but just over the web and now I'm able to check flights while he's working and prepare myself for wonderful four weeks. It will be an exciting time as he will meet my family for the first time and I will meet part of his, living in Europe.
Even when it will be winter time and days are often grey and foggy and rainy and cold - this is lightening up my mood so much!
After the last days with lots of struggles in Libya it was shortly not sure if our plans will work out and rumors are still ongoing in many countries. What a world we are living in...it's sad to see to what people are able to do and as always normal human thinkers don't see the sense of acting like this and as always the innocent are the ones to suffer. The death of the US ambassador in Libya was shocking us. If you ever checked who he was and how he lived in Libya and travelled to many Arab countries you'll realize that he was the last person on earth to deserve this. This link is showing a wonderful picture of how he was: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwYAT5wxI2E&sns=em
But not to forget that also Libyans died on the same day. They also fought against injustice and left families behind. They were working hand in hand with the US people and that they aren't mentioned in most of the discussions is again a sign that people only hear what they want to hear. It's easier to blame a whole nation afterwards. There is so many hatred if you read comments wherever you check the news and I honestly get the feeling that only the minority of people is thinking at all. Why do I not fear as European woman to live my life as the wife of a Libyan? If I would follow the general opinion I must be insane. But no, I am desperately looking forward to have my love near to me as I know that the majority isn't like these stupid people. If it's Libyan, Egyptian, Muslim, non-Muslim, black, white or whatever is existing on this earth - all has the right to exist. The minority of people who are against everything which isn't fitting to their lower minded thinking is starting to rule our life's and that's the part which is so hard to understand for me. I'm German which doesn't mean that I'm a nazi, and in the same way it doesn't mean that all muslims are terrorists or all Chinese are eating dogs. Is it the lack of education or the lack of self esteem or the need to have a leader whoever it is? These people seem to have no other problems in their life than to make trouble up to the worst. It's hard to believe that they will ever get the real meaning of faith, trust and love, because if they knew I'm pretty sure they would not be able to act like they do.
I can't wait for the day to visit Libya for the first time to see all the beautiful places and meet the family which is already giving me the feeling of being more than welcome. My future sister and brother in law are waving hellos to me on short videos we were exchanging and uncles, cousins, etc already invited us to their houses although it's completely unsure when I could be there for the first time. And this should be a country full of extremists and terrorist because the are Muslims? NO WAY!
By the way, my german family is welcoming him in the same loving way and they don't care where he is coming from or what religion he belongs to, the most important thing is that we are happy and love each other and this for sure is the case.
Keep the faith, nowadays more needed than ever!


Von meinem iPad gesendet

One of my favorite soups

One of my favorite soups

Carrot-Ginger-Soup with smoked salmon

It's an easy prepared soup and so damn yummie!

There are no special weight instruction, what I take to have the amount for 4-6 persons is the following but you can change it as you like.

500 g Carrots
300-400 g Potatoes
A piece of ginger size of the palm of a hand

Carrots and potatoes washed and cut into not too small pieces.
Just put them into a cooking pot. I cut the peeled ginger in slices and give them also into the pot.
Enough vegetable broth so that the vegetables are covered and then cooking.
It should be cooked until the carrots are soft-boiled.
Next and already last step is to enough to purée all until you don't see fibers of the ginger.
You can add salt and peeper until it's meeting your taste.
For serving I cut the smoked salmon into small pieces and put them first into the soup plate, then cover it with the hot soup, this way the salmon is slightly cooked.
On top of the soup a spoonful of creme fraiche and ready!

Enjoy!

My cosy home

My cosy home

It is one of the most important things to feel safe and comfortable at home.
Something which is often underestimated. If not your own home where else could you be just yourself? You have to start in your most intimidate surrounding. When I open the front door to my flat I'm feeling instantly at home. It's warm, it's cosy, the lights are arranged in the way I like it, my home is filled with things I like. Nothing else has a place in there if its not approved by me. The style is completely personally, no one has to like it except of me. As I'm not a colorful person most things who found their place are white. A few exceptions are present as my lovely often used leather couch which is black. I'm still waiting for it to look really used as I like used leather couches and believe me, I'm trying so hard and it is still resisting. A red painting I'm proud of as it is self painted is one of the few color spots. But before you think now MissFaith is living in a sterile area, no, the wooden floor has the color of honey and was one of main things why I chose this flat. My home has some duties to fulfill and what I try is to make the best out of it.
These duties are at first to be a shelter for me. A place where I am safe and protected.
The second is to meet my expections when it comes to furniture, which could be easy some may say but I know that many are living with furniture which is not their style because they cannot afford to buy new. Here I became a professional during the past years. It's not the price, sometimes it's just the idea of how to change it without paying too much money.
For instance, I had a wooden chest of drawers with a good shape but the wood was dark brown and not a nice dark brown, no, more an ugly dark brown. So what to do with it as it was needed? I went to a hardware store and checked the dye colors in aerosol cans. It was the first try and the drawer was not an expensive one but it didn't took me more than two hours and it was freshly painted and looked stylish and new. Some things are so easy to solve and you feel better afterwards and additionally you have something unique. No one else has this piece - just you. It. The same with all my paintings hanging on my walls. I went to several stores and I wanted originals, they were either not my style or not affordable. I decided to buy blank canvas and tried it myself, without painting lessons or calling myself an artist now. I love the results because now I have unique originals. So what I want to say with these stories, you don't need to be wealthy or rich, what you need are ideas and inspiration and in the end for me that's more worthy than any bought stuff could be.
I give you a bit insight with the pics below as stories are easily written but these stories are true. The drawer is not in my flat anymore, my best friends son is using it, so it still has a duty to fulfill in keeping his secrets ;-)

What is happiness?

What is happiness?

Why are people who have less money more happy than those who are having more?
Because they focus more on values which many of the more wealthy ones seem to have forgotten about.
What are the most important values in life?
Isn't it mainly the people who surround you? I see so many running after the newest stuff if it's electronic, fashion or cars, but what is it worth if no one is there to enjoy it with you? You could have the biggest house full of luxury up to the roof but if you are sitting there alone and sad it doesn't matter at all. We are complaining so much although most of us have more than the majority of all people on this world is even able to think of.
We have homes and full fridges, showers or bath tubs, supermarkets around the corner, cars in front of our house or in the garage, a heater for cold days and air cons for hot days, enough money to at least afford a computer with access to the web, because if you are able to read my blog on the web you belong to this group of people too!
But still these persons who don't have one single piece of it, who don't know if they are able to feed their children the next day, who wear the same clothes since years because they have only this one pair of trousers, who never sat in a car or watched a movie on TV, seem to be more happy than many of us. And what they don't do, they don't complain, instead they are thankful for what they have and cherish it.
These people stick together in good and in bad times, they support each other and share even if there's not much to share. And here we are, having enough to feed half of the city but still looking out for more.
Why don't we start to appreciate what we already have, how lucky we should be to be born in countries which are not suffering poverty, war, epidemic plagues, suppression...
I realize in myself that for instance if I am cooking something which turns out to be so nice I don't like to eat it alone. It's making me happier if I can share it with someone. And that's just a small example.
Sometimes, when I switch randomly through TV channels, I stop fascinated at documentations about different peoples and how they live. You can go from Asia to Africa, from the south pole to the north pole, all poor countries where the people mostly need to fight for survival, exactly there you see the brightest smiles and lots of laughing eyes. Communities which care for each other, each single person is valued as member of the society...
I don't want to start now and say that we all have to share all we have or to get rid of our luxury life to live in poverty but what we need to do is to stop complaining and appreciating our life.
We are gifted because we were born in countries without many of these problems. That doesn't mean our life's are free from problems but compared to others we are blessed.
Just cherish the day.

Stepping back into childhood

Stepping back into childhood

I discovered a nice way of getting myself back on track if my life feels like upside down.
What many of us forget is how easy life is through the eyes of a child.
Ok, you can start now arguing that naturally a child's life is more easy as the parents are responsible for earning the money, taking care, providing the food, paying bills and so on.
But this is not the point I'm thinking about.
First important is that you had a beloved childhood, that's the precondition and here I know that this is not the case for each and everyone...everyone who had such a childhood is blessed already.
If I have the feeling that everything is too much and I cannot cope with all expectations others but also I have for myself on how life should be I take a time out. Take myself back for half an hour, make it cosy on the the couch, in my bed or just lay down on my carpet. Remember how you were calmed down as a child. There were many ways how your mum or dad said "shush, my love, everything's alright". It could be a cup of hot chocolate, just snuggling up and listen to a radio play, music or being read to. What was your favorite? What I did a few weeks ago is I ordered my fav childhood book. It's a story about a little scallywag and his friends in the ancient caesarean Rome. Stories about their schooldays, how they make fun of their greek teacher Xanthippos and so on. I love it. When I sit down and read these stories written for kids it's taking me back to these days, days when everything was so easy. After ten minutes of reading I'm already more calm and relaxed. Going back to the roots is sometimes the best way to ground you again, it's not the story itself or the taste of a hot chocolate, it's the emotions connected to them, the sense, the values your parents taught you. I am for my life entirely sure that it was never the expectation or the wish of my parents to see a grown up perfect super woman who's able to handle each and everything. No, I'm sure they wanted me to be happy with what I'm doing, to be senseful and caring, honest and just me. No one wants me to be a super woman and the last one expecting it from me should be myself. For all who may want me to be different, sorry to say that, they don't deserve to be part of my life. I don't care for those who aren't accepting me as I am.
Find a place in your home which is just yours, which is protecting you when being angry, scared, sad or worn out. You should not hide yourself there for days, it's more that you know where to calm down whatever happens just for a short time to ground you and where you regain your inner peace. It may also be a ritual instead of a place or a combination of both but I think honestly that we need something to ease us in this rushing world.
Keep the faith in what you are and who you are and don't step to far away from your inner self just to fit into this weird world or to please someone. It's you who's counting!

How to spend the weekend?

How to spend the weekend?

I'm over thirty and I love relaxed weekends, am I old now?
Not sure how you think about it but since one to two years I'm glad if weekends are completely free and I don't have to go anywhere unless I choose to. I use the time to sleep and no to party.
If working weeks were tough and took most of your time it's a pleasure to know that two days will follow to just "do" nothing.
Sure, doing nothing is not possible but what I mean is only doing things which I like and where's no stress behind.
I for instance I like to sleep long, so dates for a breakfast which many like so much are a hassle for me. Instead of putting me into weekend dates I rather wake up late, stroll in my sleeping gown through my flat with a coffee in my hand to slowly wake up. I may start the dishwasher or the washing machine, clean up a bit but all this done in slow motion. And to have still enough hours to read, write, go for a walk, do the food shopping is calming my mind. More preferable than curing the headaches from the night before, at least for me.
Who made the rule that weekend shopping should be done before lunch time? Instead of standing in a row to be next at the cash point I prefer to go in the afternoon when everyone else is preparing the night out. I'm a "dinner" eater, means I'm mostly cooking late and eat only small things throughout the day. It fits into the work week because I wouldn't be able to prepare a lunch each day and instead of eating fast food I start during the evening. Some would say that's not healthy or eating after six o'clock will make you fat. I haven't discovered any lack so far and I'm more than far away from overweight. Snuggling up on the couch with a cup of self-made soup is what I like so much more than running through the days to meet one appointment after the other. I spent lots of time with thinking, planning, and writing but also with listening to music, meditation, watching DVDs and conversations. Heading to concerts or clubs would be stress to me nowadays. It's sounding as if the poor MissFaith is a lonely person. No, it's not like that, I just surround myself with persons I like and who are thinking at least in the same direction as me. You could call it a well-sorted inner circle, that takes time but it's worth the effort but that's another topic. Fortunately all of my close friends and family are similar to what I like. I can call a friend at eleven pm and we just talk for two hours. The following Sunday's are starting late as well and except of the visit to supermarkets the schedule is similar. I try to focus as best as even possible to avoid stress factors (they are hunting me quite enough during weekdays). And besides of being at least two days relaxed it has the nice side effect that I really like it to go out once in a while. Because it's special and not my usual way of spending the free time but also because I'm not bored then. There was a time where I was totally bored because it were always the same persons, the same location, the same food and most worst the same small talk. Pretty good and I'm honestly a tiny bit proud that I went out of this reoccurring circle. My life is now more comfortable, finding inner peace instead of crowded places, and yes, maybe more adult, haha.
Enjoy your weekend however you like it best.
MissFaith

The Sound of war...

The Sound of war...

A few days ago I was as always talking over the web to my Libyan fiancé.
I am already used to hear gunshots in the background from time to time. And to say "being used to" is kind of weird. I fortunately grew up in a peaceful area and to hear gunshots is frightening me. But I was convinced that they are far away from his house and he is not affected, so I got calmer.
But what happened this night was scaring the hell out of me.
It started with gunshots but in an unusual way as instead of stopping after a few minutes it was getting more heavy and was followed by sounds I never heard before.
He explained that they shot now with weapons used against tanks. While I was sitting frightened in front of my iPad he tried to call some friends to find out what's going on and to locate the area.
About five kilometers away from his house and all started with a fight about a car which left one dead. The family of the killed was then looking for revenge and it was getting worse and worse. I'm not even sure about the details exactly and if the national security was involved at some point or not, but that's not the topic.
After three hours of permanent shootings the next stage were weapons normally used against planes - anti aircraft - and that was the time when I was more quiet than ever before. He was a bit nervous and not as relaxed as one could be when he survived war times. The "normal" heard gunshots aren't frightening him anymore as he is able after the war to locate just from the sound if it's near to him or not. But for me, honestly, this was a situation where I realized even more than before how dangerous human beings can be.
Libya fought so hard to get finally the so long served liberty, they suffered more than anyone without war experience can imagine, and now the newly gained liberty is still a mess and has almost the same sound as a war.
Peace should be silent, comfortable and not frightening, don't they deserve to live peacefully now, after all these struggles?
And it's not only that there are a few stupid guys going against each other, no, it's affecting so many.
Has one of them ever thought about the persons who lost their loved ones, about children survived a traumatic time and still not finding rest, all the innocent out there who shiver at each shot and relive cruel memories?
And even me and I'm surely not the only one having a close relationship to Libya from an outside position. We are sitting here, in a calm and safe area, and we are frightened and hope each time that our loved ones will not be affected.
A feeling I never experienced before, being completely helpless, powerless.
Why are humans like this? They gained the power and they won against a cruel dictator but instead of trying to have a better life afterwards they abuse the weapons they got for selfish reasons. In the end they are not better than the one they fought before. I'm not a political person, I just try to use my normal human thinking. What must be in the minds of those who act so cruel? In the end it's good that I cannot understand because it would mean I think the same way. But from a realistic point of view they bring even more sadness into the country, the families, the people instead of taking the first steps into a better future.
I hope to be able sooner than later to travel there because from what I've heard and read and seen on pictures it must be a wonderful country.
Keep the faith that it soon will be safe first for the people living there and second to all those who already love the country without having been there.