Insanity or just a bride to be?

Insanity or just a bride to be?

Did you ever plan a wedding? 

My wedding ticker on the web is telling me "31 days to go". And yes, you got it, I have a wedding ticker. Is that still me?!?

I tried to look at myself and what I'm up to during these days and realized that I am one of these brides I was joking about before. If you would have asked me how to marry the clear answer was in the same second "just a tiny formal celebration and then off to honeymoon". Where is this woman now?

I catch myself being more on google and wedding web pages than sleeping.

And I start to make these noises. You know, these bride noises when she's  looking at something soooo cute, like "Aaaaaah" and "Ooooooh", which means "I need that too!"

My husband to be is already asking me almost daily if we are still within the budget. Me, the one who tried to save where possible, seeing myself thinking about wedding bubbles where the price is three times higher than for normal ones.

Is that phenomenon normal or is it just me going insane?

But at least I'm still able to judge properly and I don't know how exactly but yes, I kept the budget (so far). 

31 days and while the day is getting closer I seem to relax mainly. Mainly because my subconsciousness seems to have another sight. A few days ago I woke up and knew that I dreamt of an awful wedding but luckily I wasn't able to recall details. 

As nice and perfect as a wedding should be, it's a bit scary too, isn't it? It's not that I have doubts, not at all. It's more than sure that I will say "Yes, I do!", I mean the whole day. Will it be like we want it to be? Do we have higher expectations than what's possible? And how will I survive my speech? Yes, the bride's speech. Which is unusual, I know, but I said I will do it and now I have to. No way back. Just because I did it more than often in my job doesn't mean I will get a word out on my wedding day - this was my personal misjudging. Here we go, the bride will look like a zombie while crying and trying to finish a sentence in front of all. I have to rehearse before but it will never reflect the situation...lets hope I'm doing it at least with not too many tears and interruptions.

For the time being I'm just happy that almost everything is prepared and planned so I have around 20 days to calm down. How to do that best? Any tips - they are more than welcome.

Still faithfully,

Miss Faith